Five for 2005: Find balance
As I looked out my back window and watched the fireworks in the sky above on New Year's Eve, I was reminded of how much I enjoyed 2004. In regards to myself and my family, I made some great progress last year. Our son had his first birthday, we bought a brand new house, bought a new car, finally finished paying for another one and now we're expecting a baby girl. Two-thousand and four was a great year for me and mine, hands down.
But there's more to be done.
Find balance
The key is to constantly monitor and correct yourself in the smallest of ways, but with a steady goal in mind and with respect to others who are trying to do the same.Finding a balance between your work, your family and your goals is pretty much a matter of deciding how much to give and take from each. The way I see it, it's like driving a car, it takes only the slightest effort and a constant sensitivity to make it work smoothly.
First of all, no one else can drive for you--it's your life. There are decisions to be made and risks that have to be taken that are entirely up to you. The first step to anything is assessing the consequences because how good of a judge you are makes all the difference in regards to what sort of condition you end up in. Make the wrong turn and you could get lost, move too fast and you could get hurt.
Second of all, you have to follow a responsible path, or other people could also be affected or even hurt. That sounds dramatic, and it is, because whether it's your family, your co-workers or yourself, someone stands to be disappointed. This is where you infringe on others and in most cases, cross some sort of boundary in a really bad way.
I know, I know...so far this is all basic, but I had to cover it.
Getting things to work in harmony is never easy. One way to make it even more difficult is to try too hard at it. Of course, the most common solution to stop focusing on one area and move to another. In a way, it makes sense, but there's a failed logic behind it. By swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other, you'll always avoid the middle. There's nothing worse than overcompensation to send you off-course. I mean, no one drives a car like they do on TV, hands shifting from side to side, right? If you tried to do that in a real car, you'd lose your lunch in less than a mile.
The key is to constantly monitor and correct yourself in the smallest of ways, but with a steady goal in mind and with respect to others who are trying to do the same. When your life is in chaos (like a car in a skid), sometimes the only thing that can help is a drastic measure; an intervention, a renewal, a move, whatever. Of course, it would be ideal to never get into those situations, and it's best to try, but sometimes the world finds a way to mix things up for you.
Personally, I've always had a hard time finding the balance between home and work. My father suffers from the same dilemna. While I admire him for his work ethic and his ability to get the job done, I have fortunately (and unfortunately) seen what can kind of toll it can have at home. I don't want my life to end up the same way. I don't want to lose my wife and children. I don't want to end up alone.
The answer? There is no easy answer, not for everyone all at once. It's totally dependent on you and where you want to end up. I've learned in the last few years that it's not easy by any means. For instance, I have to get better at showing up at home when I'm needed, rather than hanging around the office, trying to get that last bit of work done. But not always. Sometimes my work depends on me, and I can't abandon it. Yeah, it's a daily struggle.
Time for drastic measures? Not by a long shot. I just have to adjust the speed and maybe nudge the wheel a bit here and there. For the foreseeable future, the road might be a little curvy, I just have to make sure that nothing gets left behind, including myself.
