So I pulled into a convenience store and checked out the selection. Looking through the refrigerator glass, the first one I spotted was Red Bull. At work, my coworkers are always throwing that name around and it seemed to be the most known brand from what I could tell. I always thought it was odd that it came in such a small can, maybe to indicate it's potency? So I grabbed one of those and a Mountain Dew Code Red, which for the sake of this comparison, I'll consider a regular soda.

Red Bull

Right away, the taste threw me for a loop. Crazy sweet/sour/bitter, like those Sour Punch candies. Almost too much, I thought. As far as its effects, I didn't really know what to expect, what I would feel. As I drove on, I did feel myself perking up a bit, but the can was gone before I really felt awake.

Full Throttle

This one I tried the next day. I had heard a radio commercial and when I saw it in a store, I grabbed one. You know, just to see. Right away, the bigger can had me wondering. Was this stuff just going to blow me away? Maybe it's not as strong, hence the bigger can? And of course, that was pretty much the conclusion I ended up with. I had only one other drink to compare it to, and right away I could tell that this tasted better, but lacked any punch at all. While the can and the logo says "biker from hell with an attitude the size of Texas", the drink inside says "ginger ale with a Mountain Dew chaser".

Rockstar

This one was a strange pick. Mostly because I unfortunately associated the brand with the game developer Rockstar Games. I don't know why, but I'm sure this is the exact coincidence the drink company intended. More to the point, I had a blast with this drink. And by "blast", I mean I was sweating, anxious and a bit on edge for a hour or so after downing it.

Monster

With this one, I got the same effect as Rockstar. Twitchiness, a little on edge and a bit of the sweats. That and a throbbing headache. Also, I have to say that even though this drink claims a citrus flavor, it was probably the worst-tasting of all. It brings to mind some sort of champagne, but made out of lime and paint thinner and without the class.

Triple trouble

After it was all said and done, my heart cried a little.There's a lesson to be learned from everything, I say. And while consuming a man-made drink to foster real, natural energy doesn't make a lot of sense, it actually seemed possible. And while I did end up feeling "energized" on occassion, I came away with mixed feelings. The fact that these drinks warn consumers to drink responsibly only increased my perception that there's real danger in them there metal cans.

My first instance of this came when I made the mistake of drinking a Full Throttle for lunch, a Rockstar a couple of hours later and a Red Bull (sugar-free, no less) for dinner. Wait, what? Yep. And I woke up the next day feeling like I'd run about five miles in five minutes. My bones ached, my body felt sore and I just didn't have my head screwed on right.

It was a feeling that I remember experiencing before. Of course, that time I was lying in a hospital bed after having heart troubles. And that is a feeling that I don't want to have again, especially from a drink in a silly can. After it was all said and done, my heart cried a little.

So why do this in the first place? Being a heart patient, am I stupid for drinking these drinks? Maybe, but how else would I know the effects? I needed something to perk me up, but how am I to know unless I give it a try?

Tempting fate? Maybe. A warning to others? Definitely.

Final Judgement

Realistically, if I were to ever buy another one of these drinks (which I will not), it'd be the Full Throttle. Just because I don't need something that's gonna send me into shock or cardiac arrest or whatever sort of blasted internal damage these drinks might cause. At this point, it's only about the taste and that one pretty much wins hands down. Otherwise, I'm leaning back towards water and natural juices...and a lot of rest.

Related Links

Energy Drink Review - An informal look at just about every drink out on the market. Don't expect expert analysis, though.

Energy Drinks at Fact Expert - Look here for more thorough facts and information about these drinks and their associated effects.